Quiet and Waiting

Quiet has been abundant at our house this week.  H has been participating in a local mission endeavor. They have been housed in several local churches. H got to stay at our church. He has been so excited about it since this is his first year participating.  I am amazed at how 3 of our local youth ministers had a vision to unite churches in our area to do missions. They began 2 years ago with about 250 students. This year there were approximately 760 students participating.  The impact of that many people coming together is amazing. H has been coaching soccer for small children in a sports camp. They are also responsible for a bible study time with these kids each day. I believe they had about 125 kids in their camp.  He has enjoyed it so much.  He could have come home tonight, even though they officially are dismissed at 8 am in the morning.  Of course he stayed.  I have a feeling there will be lots of ping-pong and pool being played all through the night.

We don't have any news on the adoption yet.  I am beyond frustrated.  Tonight it turned to heart ache for me.  My head and my heart don't align right now.  In my mind, I know that God is in control and that He has a perfect plan.  I realize that He will work this all out when the time is right.  J reminded me about this tonight. He had heard a sermon online dealing with God's timing.  He said so many times we are on our own time table, and always trying to get ahead of God. J told me how he keeps being reminded by God to wait and be patient. I completely understand that but my heart is absolutely broken. And you know what else? I knew that this day would come.  So far I have been on top of the world preparing for the adoption, well with some anger about it in the last couple of weeks.  But all along I knew that this would be a roller coaster ride and there would be some definite lows.  And there will be more to come, I am sure, before this is all over. So many of you have so encouraged me about the big picture and God's hand in it all.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reminding me of that!  Because every fiber of my being wants to jump up and down in a 3 year old tantrum and scream right now, but I know it wont do any good, so I will be mature enough to refrain. I know that at the end of this journey I will look back and see God's hand all over it, but it just doesn't feel that good right now.

I apologize for being so raw on this post.  I blog for a several reasons and one of them is just to have a journal of what is going on in our life. Another is that writing it out is like therapy for me.  Keeping a journal of it will definitely help me see how God worked and moved through it all.

Hope you all have a great 4th of July!