Our News

I am about to bust at the seams today. I am hesitant to share with you because that's my nature. I have always kept things private until I was 100% sure everything was going to work out. Afraid I would have to backtrack and explain why things didn't work out, I kept quiet. I don't think I can do that now. Even if something happens, I am willing to be venerable.

Most of you know our story. We have battle infertility for years. We struggled to get pregnant with H, but it was accomplished rather quickly with fertility drugs. Fast forward a couple of years and we decided to try them again. No luck. We tried a few different things and nothing. After a while, we decided to take a break from treatments. My dad battled a couple of different cancers and I didn't think we could handle it emotionally. After a while, we were resigned to the fact that we would just have one child. I became OK with that. Then out of the blue I got pregnant naturally, with no drugs whatsoever. We were ecstatic. When I went to the Dr the next day an ultrasound reveled that I was pregnant but there was no heartbeat. I was devastated, but we remained hopeful that we could get pregnant again. But obviously, that has never happened. We never pursued any other treatments.

Two years ago, we got a call out of the blue from a friend who wanted to know if we might be interested in adopting a baby. We had never discussed adoption at all. I knew my answer but called J just to make sure. We quickly prepared a letter and pictures for the birth parents. They eventually chose to parent that child. God knew best in his timing because that baby was born about the same time J's mom passed away.

Adoption has been on our heart and mind ever since. We even considered an embryo adoption, where you carry the baby, but that door was closed. (And obviously now that is not an option as I will be having a hysterectomy.) We put it on hold while we built the house and finally just after Christmas, J and I decided that we should pursue an adoption. I procrastinated on getting the process started because I didn't even feel like talking on the phone during those weeks prior to my hospitalization. Once I got home, we started contacting some adoptive parents and obtaining guidance. We are now in the beginning stages of our home study and we believe we have identified an adoption consulting group to work with! I was finally able to talk to the consultant today and I am at such peace about the whole situation. Our home study should be done by May. Then we expect to have about a 3 month wait for placement!

My mind is racing with all the preparations to be made. We kept absolutely nothing of H's baby items, so we are starting completely over. I am so excited. For years I have dreamed of having another child. But, because of our battle with infertility, I have guarded my heart, never allowing myself to really believe it could happen. In actuality, I was doubting God. He could very well close this door, if he chooses, but I am so allowing my heart to trust and believe!

You may have noticed that I changed the first song on my blog a few weeks ago to "While I am Waiting". It has ministered to me tremendously and it plays over and over in my head daily. I have preparations to make while I am waiting, but I am also praying. Praying for that birth mom whom I may or may not meet, that she will make wise choices each day, for the health of that precious baby and mostly that she will be drawn to the Lord through all of this. My heart is already aching for her as I can't imagine what she will go through or what she may be going through at this very moment. I would ask that you pray with us. Only God knows the ending to this story right now, but I know it will have a perfect ending, no matter the outcome, because it will be written by Him!